Deja Vu
by sapphire-child
Summary: Claire is trapped because since he agreed to hold on she hasn’t been free. AU


Title: Déjà Vu  
Original post date: 1st April 2006  
Spoilers: the Moth and Raised By Another  
Summary: Claire is trapped because since he agreed to hold on she hasn't been free. A what-if-Claire-had-stayed-with-Thomas? fic.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the song lyrics from Savage Garden which I have myoinked in this fic. Oh, or Lost.

_

* * *

Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away – pack up the kids in the car.  
__Another bruise to try and hide, another alibi to write...  
Savage Garden- Two Beds and A Coffee Machine_

* * *

Claire stared in the mirror numbly, eyeing the plum coloured bruise at the corner of her eye. No doubt he would expect her to lie again to everyone, make some pitiful excuse up for her state when they all knew that he had been hitting her again.

It had been over six years and two children now. The first, a boy, had taken her three weeks to name. Thomas had been irritable with her but she simply couldn't find a name that seemed to fit. Then as she had been scanning a magazine a name had practically leapt off the page at her.

Aaron.

From that moment on she thought of her baby as Aaron and nothing anyone could say would change her mind.

'Aaron's a bloody awful name,' Thomas had been disgusted. 'Why couldn't you name him something more…I don't know. Not Aaron.'

'He's _my_ baby,' Claire had said defensively, holding him close to her.

'He's my baby too!' Thomas had said immediately, vehement. 'And you're damn lucky I'm still here!'

Claire had fallen silent at that. He was right; she wouldn't have been able to raise Aaron alone. She wondered sometimes what would have happened if she and Thomas hadn't gotten back together after that last big fight. Aaron would probably be with some foster family and she'd be with someone else a lot nicer she thought ruefully.

'Mummy?'

Claire saw the reflection of Aaron in the mirror; a small blonde figure huddled against the doorframe, his pale eyes shining with tears. She turned slowly to him, feeling a horrible pang of guilt when she saw the yellow-black bruise on his upper arm where Thomas had pulled him along at the shops only days before.

'Mummy...' He ran to her and she bent down so he could put his arms around her neck and hug her. 'Did he hurt you? Why does daddy always hurt you?'

The baby began to wail from the next room.

'He doesn't mean to,' Claire said, her voice hollow as she carried her son back into the bedroom he now shared with his baby sister. 'He loves us very much Aaron.' She tucked him in and moved automatically to soothe the baby.

Aaron began to cry as he pulled the blankets right up to his chin.

'If he loves us then why doesn't he leave us alone?'

Claire didn't answer. She continued to soothe the baby until she fell back into a restless doze. Since she had been born, several weeks ago now, the baby hadn't had a decent nights sleep, what with Thomas and his friends crashing about at all hours, drinking and smoking.

He would be back soon; Claire knew he'd gone downstairs to have a smoke and punch at the walls, both were habits he'd picked up a couple of years ago and both were habits she detested. When he came back he would probably start hitting her again.

'Mummy?'

'Go back to sleep Aaron,' Claire bent to kiss him on the forehead. 'You've got school tomorrow.' Claire reached to turn the radio on. 'If you hear anything scary you turn the radio up okay?'

Aaron nodded, gave a hiccough and closed his eyes.

Claire managed to hold it together until after she had closed their door and then her legs collapsed beneath her as her hands went to her face to hide her tears, sobbing so loudly that it hurt her throat.

Inside the room she heard Aaron turn the radio up.

* * *

_You could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more  
A thousand words will give the reasons why I don't need you anymore…  
Savage Garden - A Thousand Words_

* * *

'Mummy where are we going?'

Claire slammed the door shut and locked it, nearly dropping the key as she did so.

'We're going away for a little while,' Claire whispered although there was no need.

'Going away where?' Aaron asked, trotting alongside Claire as she descended the stairs, baby in one arm, the pram loaded with belongings bumping along behind them.

'Just away,' Claire said brusquely. 'Come on.'

The car was waiting; she had made sure it was fuelled and ready. The final belongings went into the boot, no backwards glances at her old life. Claire looked at the time and was about to get into the car when she happened to glance down the road. Her heart stopped for one horrible moment.

The one day he didn't go to the pub on the way home...

He parked his car right in front of hers and got out, looking suspiciously at the contents of it. Claire froze, one foot in the door. 'Where're you off to then?'

'The Salvation Army,' Claire lied falteringly. 'We've got some stuff to donate.'

Thomas advanced towards her and then glanced at the contents of the car accusingly.

'Looks more like you're moving out.'

Aaron watched, eyes wide with fear, from the front seat. Claire tried to keep her voice calm but it had leapt up the octave without her even realising.

'Does it?'

'You are aren't you?'

Claire tried to get in the car. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Don't give me that shit.' Thomas said, his voice was calm but his eyes were burning. He grabbed her arm roughly and half pulled her out of the car. 'Now what you're going to do is you're going to pack all this up and we're going to carry it inside and then we're going to talk about all of this like...'

Claire pushed at his hand, as a hysterical scream built up in her throat. One of their neighbours who was just getting out of his car looked up sharply as it pierced the air.

'Claire!' Thomas said warningly.

'Get off of me!' Claire began to scream. 'Get away from me! Don't touch me!'

'Leave her alone!' the neighbour had come rushing over to help. 'Hey, you! Leave her alone!'

'Excuse me,' Thomas said acidly. 'This is a matter between me and my wife…'

'I am _not_ your wife!' Claire pushed Thomas away and he came back at her without thinking. Their neighbour reacted instinctively, punching Thomas square in the jaw and in that split second, as he staggered backwards, Claire leapt into the car, gunned the engine and demolished the front garden as she reversed onto the road and floored the accelerator pedal.

She glanced back in her rear vision mirror at Thomas, now involved in a violent tussle with their neighbour and couldn't help but feel an intense rush of relief when she turned the corner and they both disappeared.

'Mummy?'

Claire turned to Aaron, sitting pop-eyed in the passenger seat.

'Are you okay sweetie?' she put a hand out to touch his cheek.

Aaron nodded, white-faced. 'That was the most bravest thing I ever saw you do.'

Claire smiled, her lips tight, and turned back to the road. She had no fixed idea of where she was going – just away from Thomas was good enough for her – and so she continued to drive and drive and drive until she accidentally ran a red light in a busy intersection. The next thing she knew there was the scream of metal on metal and then her head exploded with pain.

'Mummy?'

'Oh my God! Are you okay?'

Her eyes fell shut and the world tumbled into darkness.

* * *

Claire could sense the presence of another person beside her bed long before she opened her eyes, but it still didn't stop her from screaming out loud when she did.

'Whoa!' the man sitting next to her bed shrank away from her flailing hands. 'Hey! Its okay!'

Claire gazed frantically about, her eyes focusing on the man in front of her and she froze at the familiarity of his eyes.

'It's okay,'

Claire took in his face, breathing heavily, then her consciousness began to clear a little more and she became slowly aware of other things – th stark white of a hospital, the feeling of crisp linen against her skin. She frowned – her skin felt tighter than usual and there was a sharp pain in her head. She raised a hand to the throbbing pain in her cranium only to find both bandaged.

'What?' she said distractedly.

'You were in a car crash,' the man said patiently. 'We ran into each other.'

Pause.

'Holy fucking hell!'

The man actually grinned at this sudden exclamation and Claire tried to smile back but then quite suddenly she began to cry, pulling air in and out in great heaving gasps as words spilled out of her unbidden about running away and being so sorry and Thomas and the lies the lies all the lies she'd told.

The man sat there, shell-shocked for a moment before reaching out to awkwardly touch her arm in a weak gesture of reassurance.

'I'm sorry,' Claire gulped after she had exhausted her voice. 'So sorry…'

'That's okay, uh…' the man patted her arm and gratefully pulled away. 'Are you okay now?'

'Where are my kids?' Claire said suddenly, trying to sit up, her eyes wild. 'Who are you? Why are you here?'

'Whoa, slow down!' the man held up a hand. 'Your kids are fine, they're in another room because you're a bit of a mess and I didn't think they'd cope seeing you like this – and the doctors agreed with me. We don't want them worried see? They've had an exciting enough time already.'

Claire collapsed back onto the pillows, weak with relief as he continued. 'And to answer your second question, my name's Charlie.' Claire didn't take the hand he offered and it wavered and fell. 'And uh, I don't really know why I'm here. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You took one hell of a bump. Scared the bejesus out of me – I thought I'd actually killed you for a minute or two.'

Claire paused before asking her next question, certain he would laugh. 'Have we – have we met before?'

Charlie regarded her silently for a minute before answering slowly. 'No. At least I don't think so. You seem…familiar though.'

'You too.'

A half smile and a returned half smile.

'So…what do you do for a living?'

'Me?' Charlie looked slightly embarrassed. 'Not really a lot. I'm kind of a struggling artist.' Claire nodded but stopped when her head gave a particularly painful throb. 'I uh, kinda go from job to job. What about you? Single mum?' Charlie guessed.

'I wish,' Claire sighed. 'I was leaving my boyfriend when I crashed. That's why I wasn't thinking about what I was doing as I was driving.'

'Ah,' Charlie said looking slightly awkward and Claire suddenly laughed, prompting him to look up, startled.

'I don't know why I'm telling you all of this,' she confessed. 'I barely know you. I just _met_ you for Gods sake.'

Charlie didn't say anything for a moment and was studying his fingernails when he finally did reply.

'Maybe we knew each other in another life,' he looked up then, smiling lightly. 'Or something like that. I've never felt déjà vu this badly before. I swear I've met you before and yet I've never laid eyes on you until today.'

'Yeah,'

A deep silence fell in the room as they regarded each other thoughtfully.

'Ah, Miss Littleton! You're awake!' Charlie jerked as though he'd been electrocuted and then stepped aside to let the nurse through.

The nurse checked something on her clipboard and smiled brightly at Claire. 'Well what do you know! My name's Claire as well!' she saw Charlie and glanced between them. 'Is this your – husband…?'

'No,' Claire shook her head, blushing slightly. 'We just met. He was in the other car.'

The nurse nodded, 'Ah,' as she bent to check something.

Across the room Charlie gazed at the woman in the bed; pale, bandaged and exhausted and couldn't help but wonder why he felt such a strong pull to her. He mouthed her name several times and then murmured it softly, surprised at how comfortable it felt in his mouth – as though he'd said it a thousand times before.

'Claire.'


End file.
